Holiday Blues

This is the time of year I feel that maybe I need to have my head examined. I LOVE the holiday season. I love every minute of it. It all starts with Halloween dressing my beauties up in costume and taking them begging for candy. My birthday, the next day, yummy cake and 35 candles (35?!?). From there it seems like we are preparing our Turkey and trimmings and giving tanks for all of the blessings bestowed upon us. Before I know it, we are erecting a tree, and small whimsical villages throughout our home. Carefully decorating the outside, and looking at beautiful light displays on our way home from shopping. Counting down the days until school is out, and Santa comes. Blowing out the candles on my daughter's birthday cake. It seems like in a flash Santa is here, we are tearing into our presents, putting together toys and the delicious smells of Christmas dinner is filling the house. Sitting with family and taking in the blessing of them. Never wanting the feeling to end.

There is the anticipation of seeing the children's faces when they run to the tree on Christmas morning with a sea of presents surrounding them. I thrive on the stress of making sure everyone receives just what they wanted. The rush of making the teacher's gifts. I actually stayed up for 48 hours knitting a cowl for a teacher. I did this while watching A Christmas Carol with Patrick Stewart as Scrooge on repeat, every time it ended being in tears. When the cowl was finished and perfect I had a wave of satisfaction wash over me.

The television programming makes me feel warm, fuzzy, and absolutely nostalgic. Watching old favorites like Frosty the Snowman, The Grinch, Mickey's Christmas Carol, Rudolph, and of course Charlie Brown take me back to my own childhood. We would all gather around the television and watch these wonderful shows every year. My husband often reminds me that "we have them all on DVD" my response is I know we do, but it is not the same as watching it on ABC or CBS with all of the commercials. There isn't greater feeling in the world when you are watching them with your children.

I described all of these wonderful things to bring you to this. Why, why, why do I have this feeling of sadness? As soon as Christmas was over a feeling of depression overcame me. Another Christmas come and gone. Another year older for my beautiful children. It seems like yesterday that I was pregnant with my son. He will be 7 this year. Where did 7 years go? How is it possible that they flew by us this quickly? My daughter turned one. I JUST had her! A year passed us by already? 2011 seemed to fly by so quickly, can it be possible that we are ringing in 2012 so soon. I wish I could slow it all down.

I hope that I am not crazy and that other people go through this as well. Not that I wish depression on any of you but I would take comfort in knowing that I am not the only one. I hope that you all had a Merry Christmas, and many blessings fall upon you in the New Year.

Chop Chop

Again, I find myself being a bad blogger, which is fine, I do that with a lot of things. I sometimes just fall off the face of the earth for awhile and retreat into myself.

Lots has happened.... The untrainable boy is now potty trained, he even pees standing up like a big boy! We still have some accidents but I'll take it over having to buy pull-ups any day! I also had a major IEP meeting for him. I am so proud of my boy! He has come so far from the non-verbal child of only a year and a half ago. He will more than likely be in regular ed come Kindergarten. I am thrilled at his accomplishments, no matter how small.

I had my back surgery after having yet another bout of severe pain. I wasn't able to walk, sit, or even lay down comfortably for 3 weeks. I think that was the most excruciating pain I have ever felt in my life, it made child birth seem like a paper cut. The surgeon removed a fragment of disc the size of a half dollar that was tangled up in my sciatic nerve. The leg pain is gone but the pain from the surgery remains. I am healing, slowly, but healing. I had to take myself off the pain meds because the sickness that they were causing was worse than actually dealing with the pain. So there is a lot of screaming when I move, but at least my head isn't up my ass.

I realized over this healing time that I can never, ever, bitch about my husband again. He is a saint. He cleaned the house top to bottom for me (though it is a mess again), did the mountains of laundry, cooked, and took care of me, and Damien. He finally saw why I get so frustrated after I clean and it immediately gets messed up. LOL, as soon as he washed the floor in comes Damien or the dogs tracking whatever mess through it. He uttered the words "I don't know how you do it". He filled my shoes and he filled them well.

For Mother's Day they made me a special card, and planted flowers for me.... Damien was so excited about his creation that he couldn't wait to give it to me. The wiseass that my husband is located a flower called a "creeping Jenny" though I hate the nickname Jenny with a passion, I found the gesture sweet. He really is an awesome man, and I am so lucky to have him.

I will try to be a better blogger from now on, but can't make any promises...

Trials and Tribulations

Hello friends and family out there in blogland. I know if has been a while but I have been super busy. I am now writing this to you from my new laptop. Which I am having a love/hate relationship with. I can't get any pics up for you just yet because I am having to go through all of my backup discs trying to find them all. I do promise you new ones though. I will be bringing that to you very soon.

Now, on to why I have been so busy. We painted the living room... yes you read that right. I will leave the color scheme to the pictures. We have many other rooms to conquer but at least we got started. I have well over 1000 emails to get to because I haven't been able to check them. I am actually considering just doing a mass delete.

Damien went to his "Autism" doctor this week. Well, in spite of him showing his ass the whole time, she removed the Autism label from his diagnosis. He is now PDD-NOS (which is Autism lite, I guess). The interesting conversation about medication came up, which I refused. I want him to go through behavioral therapy first before the thought of medication comes into play. I have never been a fan of behavioral meds, and I feel that most people jump to pills before actually trying to work on anything. That isn't me and the isn't my husband. We both are on the same page with this. Our unanswered question is "How much of this is typical 3 year old behavior"?

On to me, I went to the doctor, for my annual "ladies visit". I am awaiting the results, but from what she saw, the doctor basically told me to expect a phone call with referrals. If I were a horse, I would be glue.

Well, I am back to fixing my livingroom back up and off to the store to finish it off.
~Til next time!

Ok ouch

So I just got back from the orthopedic. I thought that I was going to go in and him say "cortisone shot" and all would be well.

Not the case. I have 3 herniated discs, which, I already knew. Well the problem is that one of the discs broke, also known as a burst fracture, and a piece of the disc is laying on my nerve which is what is causing me all of the pain. When he told me this, I kind of laughed to myself. When the episode that caused me to go to the hospital happened back in October my saint of a mother asked me where it hurt and what the pain was like.
My reply to her was "It feels like something is laying on my nerve". Turns out, there is.

Ok, so you are probably thinking what is the point of your rambling. The point is... I HAVE to have surgery. They have to go in and remove the fragment. I called my wonderful, knowledgeable Dad to find out if they were perhaps bullshitting me, no they aren't. If I don't want chronic pain this needs to be done.

On to the surgery details, I don't have a date yet because this timing sucks. I will be out of commission for at least 6 weeks. So we have to work out a schedule, and when I find something out, I will keep posted.

It seems like 2009 is off with a bang. Let's hope it only gets better from here. Oh yeah and my new laptop will be to me in 7-10 days, I probably have a box full of emails that I can't get to and I will have to set up all of my picture stuff again. Fun, fun! On a happy note, one of my best friends sent Damien a Christmas gift. A Wii! He was so happy when he saw it (so was Mommy). We have been playing it all weekend. I do have to say, I have the best friends in the universe! I love them all dearly.

~Til next time!

Misfit update...

Missy went to the vet today. The doctor said because of the many forms that MCT can take they want to monitor it for a month. If it gets any worse, they will schedule her for surgery right away. If after a month it is the same then she will go in to get it removed then. I can breathe for now, I guess. I am just hoping that it is nothing, and that I have more time with her. I am not ready for her to go anywhere yet.

Then I got another disturbing call... My computer... unfixable. So, they are replacing it but I am not getting the same computer because apparently they aren't available anymore. They are sending me a Pavilion. I guess it is an upgrade but I liked my little tablet. Let's just hope my pix will transfer from the backup discs.

On a happy note, Mike is home, and we are all enjoying it. Damien sounds like a broken record ... Daddy Daddy Daddy... he missed him. That to me is amazing, especially for an Autistic child.

Well, back to my Dexter marathon, this show is pretty freakin' awesome. I know that I keep promising pictures, and there will be, as soon as I get my computer!

~Til next time!

The cheese to my macaroni...

is finally home! He arrived yesterday morning and although my house is trashed, I am ecstatic.

We went to pick him up yesterday morning, at a somewhat decent time. As soon as we got into the car Damien knew where we were going. I was actually nowhere near the base, and he said "we are going to catch the Daddy". I said "what"? and he repeated himself. Of course, nothing goes off without a hitch, I didn't realize the time. I went in the gate that I figured would be closed, not thinking that guys would be running, of course the other gate that I didn't use is closer to where I had to be. So I am stuck driving behind running soldiers for about a half hour. They run in the middle of the street because apparently that is a good idea, and the cars that happen to be on the road have nowhere to be.

So, anyway, Damien is a pig in shit and has lodged himself up Mike's butt. Everything is Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. I made some interesting recipes yesterday and today that I just might share. Just not today. It feels good to cook again, and have someone other than yourself appreciate it. Now I just have to tackle the mess that is the house. I am going to start over the weekend.

On to the not so happy news, I noticed something on my Missy's leg today and called the vet for an appointment. I just hope it is not the tumor that I think it is. Boxers run a high risk of Mast Cell Tumors (skin cancer). Her appointment is Friday afternoon, so I won't panic until then.

I will post pics as soon as I get my HP back, they should have shipped it out today. Though all I am doing is downloading all my files and sending it back for a new one. I will probably end up using Mike's when he goes to work tomorrow.

Damien has another cold coming on. Can I please know why this kid is constantly ill? Actually up until the "winter" he was doing fine, then we just kept sharing germs, and passing sickness back and forth. Now I get to look forward to what he has now! Which no doubt he got in school because people just love sending their kids in sick. Woo Hoo!!

I went to pick up an item that was given to me from someone who Freecycled it. It is actually for Mike. A Santa Homer Simpson blow up thing for the lawn. It works and is in great shape! He is going to be super happy about it. I actually can't wait to show him!

I can't seem to find my remote and Buffy the Vampire Slayer is on torturing me. This is one of the worst movies ever made. I am losing I.Q. points every time I look up from the computer screen. If only I wasn't so lazy and would get up to change it.

I am hearing things over head (a certain few will know what I am talking about) and getting really depressed because I haven't gotten that phone call yet. I don't know why it is bothering me so much because I know the date, and I should be used to this, but apparently I am not!

~Til next time